I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
50% drunk capacity currently
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
