Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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