it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize