omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
