My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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