worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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