Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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