Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
