why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
