that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
What drink are we having for lunch?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
