sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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