How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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