Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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