this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
