strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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