i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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