I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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