Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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