Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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