wat bout pragnant strippers??
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize