If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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