I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
