Have you finally orgasmed yet?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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