theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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