just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
