His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
