i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize