oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
