I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
