hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
