I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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