i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize