is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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