Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
