i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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