3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Drunk is not a location!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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