I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
