3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
