there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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