Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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