Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
