Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
