he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize