She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
