I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
