Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
