Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
