Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
