Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
