So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
