Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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