Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
