Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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