I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I can text with my tongue
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
