Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I would fuck him just for his dog
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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