Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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