I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
