How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
