I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize