Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
