I got chris browned last night
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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