Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
