you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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